Monday, January 31, 2011

GAME ON


Chelsea FC sign Fernando Torres for £50m, the biggest deal in Premiership history

The deal went right down to the wire ahead of the transfer window closing, with Torres only travelling down to London late on Monday evening to undergo a last-minute medical.

The deal went right down to the wire ahead of the transfer window closing, with Torres only travelling down to London late on Monday evening to undergo a last-minute medical.

The Spaniard, who spent almost four years at Liverpool after arriving from Atletico Madrid in 2007, could take on his former club as early as this weekend when the Reds travel to Stamford Bridge in the Premier League.



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WELCOME TO THE BRIDGE LADS,


Chelsea complete £21.3m Luiz signing

Having signed Liverpool striker Fernando Torres for a fee rising to £50 million, Chelsea have also strengthened their defence with the acquisition of Luiz from the Portuguese club.

Luiz, 23, was named Portugal's Player of the Year for 2010 as he helped Benfica win the domestic Double and has carved out a reputation as a defender of some repute since joining the club in 2007.

At Chelsea, he will compete with John Terry and fellow Brazilian Alex for a place in the heart of Carlo Ancelotti's defence.

Luiz joins Chelsea for a fee of €25 million (£21.3 million), while young midfielder Nemanja Matic also moves to Estadio da Luz.



IT'S BEEN A LONG WEEKEND



His armband proved he was a red - torres torres
until the league campaign was dead - torres torres
chelsea came in with a bid
torres fucked off and we were fine
fernando torres chelseas number 9

His armband proved he was a red - torres torres
You'll never walk alone it said - torres torres
We bought the lad from sunny Spain
He gets the ball he scores again
Fer-nan-do Torres, Liverpool's number nine.

He is a blue, he was a red - torres torres
He left the Kop, he loves the Shed - torres torres
He used to go out on the rob
But now he's got a proper job
'Nando Torres - Chelsea's number 9

His armband proved he was a red, Suarez Suarez
You'll never walk alone it said, Suarez Suarez
He bought the band from a lad in Spain.
Tall, blonde hair, forgotten the name.
Luis Suarez Liverpool's Number 9

He wanted to leave to be a blue - Torres Torres,
He couldn't stand living in Liverpoo -Torres, Torres,
We saved the lad from a town of crime
And a burgled house in extra time
Fer-nan-do Torres, Chelsea's number nine.

He was a red, he's now a blue - Torres Torres
He used to sulk and smell of Poo - Torres Torres
but now that he has left the scum
a Premiership medal is sure to come
Fer-nan-do Torres, Chelsea's number nine.


"We used to give you loads of shit, Torres Torres,
But now we like you quite a bit, Torres Torres,
The Scouse are saying please don't go,
but you're the next Tore Andre Flo,
Fernando Torres, Chelsea's number nine!"


He's half a girl, he's half a boy, Torres, Torres.
He looks just like a transvestite, Torres, Torres.
He wears a frock, he loves the c*ck,
He sells his a*se on Albert Dock,
Fer-nan-do Torres, Carraghers bit on the side...

He was a red, now he's a blue - torres torres ,
faark those scousers, boo hoo hoo - torres torres ,
knew the lad had loads of class,
Carra will miss his Spanish ass,
Nando Torres , chelsea's no 9

We used to hate your fuckin' guts Torres Torres
But now he's driving Scousers nuts Torres Torres
They banged his car they burnt his shirt
To see him play in Blue will hurt
Fernando Torres Chelsea's No. 9

His armband lied, he was no red, Torres Torres
He's just a rentboy like they said, Torres Torres
Into our backs he plunged his knife
I hope John Terry shags his wife
Fernando Torres, Chelsea's new number 9

"We're sorry for the things we said -Torres, Torres
It's just that we all hate the Reds - Torres, Torres
The "half a girl" stuff was just a joke
We really think you're a brilliant bloke
Fernando Torres, No longer a ladyboy"


POETRY COURTESY OF CHELSEA CHAT AND RAWK

TRANSFER NEWS

Roberto Mancini has confirmed he will be bringing in a new face by the end of the day





Carlos Tevez and Joleon Lescott are fighting over who gets it

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Found out my Grandmother (Mom) died today 1/30/10

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My Grandmother (called her Mom) died today and I don't know what else to do but write a blog post about it cuz I can't talk to my family or I should say my fucked up (Drug addicted) Mother.  My Mom (Cam) called me today after not talking to me for like 2+ years to tell me that my Grandmother died (Gloria Yates) and she asked me if I cared and wanted to know about it in a smart ass way.  What a fucking statement huh asking your son if he cares to know if his grandmother died or not? She is such a selfish, self centered addict (I totally understand, (cuz I was most 1/2 my life) she just has to have control.. Every one has a fucked up family with issues I know I am not the only one and I am eternally grateful for my childhood, my family was very good to me and I was spoiled rotten, about the best childhood you could have but my family sure went to shit a few years ago... It is sad what cancer can do to your family.  my Mother got diagnosed with Lymphoma Cancer about 15+years ago and has been addicted to pain pills since - I am surprised she is still alive.  It is truly amazing what you can put your body through and still be alive.  God wants her here for a reason.. When she asked me if I cared to know how she died I just said that was fucked up and we hung up the phone.  I know the odds are that I will get a call from my uncle anytime telling me my Mom has died from drugs too. I am grateful for my AA family and my 15 years of sobriety and by the grace of a loving God go I. The last time I spoke to my grandmother she told the family I hit her (Long fucked up story) but the bottom line is that I did not hit her and she was just fucked up on drugs like my Mom. I could not go to my Grandfather's funeral because of that little family drama my Mom and Grandmother created. Not that I wanted to be around them anyway. I love my family and I have to "love them from a distance" as they say in the program. I am not going to get caught up in the drama of my family anymore I made that decision when my Grandmother said I hit her, I was done then and my life has continually gotten much better since I have gotten underneath the strong hold of the two manipulative drug addicted woman in my family. Still fucking hurts though..

Update 2/1/11:  I found out a day later from my Uncle that my Grandmother committed suicide and shot herself in the heart. This is what getting addicted to pain pills does.. Very sad..

Know about my wonderful Grandmother (Gloria Yates) and my memories of her:
She was the best most beautiful grandmother you could ever have!  She taught me so much in life and was so very good to me. I remember when I was little that I would get so excited about my grandparents coming to see us. They loved my unconditionally and put up with a lot more bullshit from me than I could ever put up with from them. The above statement is just me purging my feelings cuz it is good to get that shit out sometimes.. We used to sit at her kitchen table and smoke cigarettes and shoot the shit all the time. I used to garden for her and she always was there for me when I needed to talk or ask a life question. She was ALWAYS supportive of me and my dreams.  She believed in me and had a love for the Central Coast. She would be proud of me and what I am doing with my life. She was insecure about missing anything that was going on and had to stay up all night at Christmas and come over first thing in the morning to be excited with me. I could tell she did not sleep all night. She was a great wife and mother. She was a also a great daughter to her Mom and she did the best she could in this life. She had to take pain pills cuz she had real bad arthritis, I understood and never was mad at her for telling the family I hit her, I think in  a way she said that to give me the opportunity to have my own life and start MY LIFE and get out of the family to do something for me.  I was going to take care of her after my Grandfather passed and I sometimes think she said that on purpose so that I could go on and live my dreams.. Ether that or she was just meaner than cat shit haha, she could be fucking mean, let me tell you, I have that streak in me too.  We were a lot alike..  I love you Mom!
 Me and Mom in front of my Moro Bay apartment a year sober..

Incomprehensible Scotsman buys £20m worth of Soleros from Ajax

INCOMPREHENSIBLE Liverpool manager Kenny Dalglish has inadvertently signed more than £20m worth of fruit-covered ice cream treats from Dutch giants Ajax.

The iconic scowl has now been forced to employ interpreters to make his transfer requests understood after buying a huge quantity of non-footballing items from Europe's leading clubs.
Ajax manager Frank De Boer said: "Mr Dalglish came into my office and told me he wants to buy 'lots of Soleros' and that he has more than £20m available. The fleet of trucks leaves next Monday.

"We even managed to negotiate a £5m add-on fee for some training cones and a tablecloth, although I think he may actually have been trying to order a taxi at the time."

The trip to Ajax has brought Liverpool's January spending up to £35 million after Dalglish left the San Siro in Milan with eight tons of topsoil and then orderded 40,000 pies from Aston Villa.

But he has recouped £7m after accidentally selling Ryan Babel to Hoffenheim during a takeaway pizza order.

Dalglish thinks he fits right in during his new stint at Liverpool but continues to struggle with basic sentences and many of the foreign players are under the impression the manager is still Roy Hodgson after having had some botox and a stroke.

Assistant Sammy Lee said: "Sometimes I look into his eyes and I can almost sense what he's trying to tell me.

"Hopefully, unlike his two predecessors, it's not that there's a draught coming from somewhere or that he's being targeted by Mossad because of his shoes."

Keys points finger at Sith

RICHARD Keys has blamed disturbances in the Force for his recent inability to cling on to his job.

The sports pundit impersonator and flexi-time Jedi claims the Youtube account leaking footage of him chasing secretaries around a desk is the work of the Sith Lords.

Using home-made equipment fashioned from an old BskyB squarial, he claimed the leaked footage is teeming with bad midichlorians.

Keys said: "Women lead to bras. Bras lead to breasts. Breasts lead to making 'flubalubaluba' noises whilst shaking your head back and forth.

"A very serious conversation with Human Resources where they ask you to hand back your security pass, that way lies."

He has asked his former employers to be on the lookout for a woman named Darth Sexual Grievance filing harassment suits while ancient men in hooded robes look on and cackle before saying: "Good... good. You have controlled your fear of being groped, now unleash your claim for compensation!"

Rumours have already surfaced that Keys will retire from broadcasting altogether, after he told friends: "Excitement? Adventure? A sporting anchor craves not these things. Especially when presenting a Wednesday night League Cup tie between Swindon and Ipswich you are."

But most insiders suggest he will hide away on the unregarded backwater station of Talksport and await the arrival of a young punditry apprentice whom he can instruct in the ways of calling women 'Tittyfolol'.

Keys added: "With this new apprentice and the spectre of my former colleague, I will rid the sporting galaxy of the Sith feminists forever.

"When Sky struck Andy Gray down, they made him more powerful than they could possibly imagine."

TRANSFER NEWS

Liverpool have just made a £20 million bid for Andy Murray !


DALGLISH STATED : " I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYONE HIT THE NET SO MANY TIMES IN 90 MINS " 

Special 1 TV

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Michael W. Moses

The Ceramic Art of Michael W. Moses


Newest piece in my sponge vase collection.  This creation is entitled "Up From the Deep".


Michael W. Moses is a ceramic artist who is designing and creating unique one of a kind works of art pottery. I make, sell, and display my diverse works at South Coast Antiques and Gallery in historic downtown Ocean Springs, Mississippi.

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Jason Briggs

The Best Mouse

The Best Mouse

Friday, January 28, 2011

LOL



Can you hear the Shed, Fernando?
I do not remember ever another starry night like this;
When the Chelsea called Fernando,
And then sang your name out loud as you came down to sign the deal,
And we heard the Scousers cry as their blood started quickly to congeal.

There was burning in the air that night, red shirts alight, Fernando,
now you'll be scoring goals for you and me, for CFC, Fernando,
though the Scousers thought you'd never leave, they're all depressed,
and when you get to meet Reina again, you'll score my friend, Fernando.

It got closer now, Fernando;
every hour, every minute seemed to last eternally;
They are so afraid, Fernando;
They are young and full of life and all of them prepared to cry,
And I'm not ashamed to say the roar of Chelsea celebrating made me smile.

There was burning in the air that night, red shirts alight, Fernando,
now you'll be scoring goals for you and me, for CFC, Fernando,
though the Scousers thought you'd never leave, they're all depressed,
and when you get to meet Reina again, you'll score my friend, Fernando.

Now I'm old and grey, Fernando;
and since many years I haven't seen the Chelsea smile;
Until you came round, Fernando;
Do you still recall the moment you were no longer at Liverpool?
I could see it in your eyes how proud you were to wear the Chelsea Blue.

There was burning in the air that night, red shirts alight, Fernando,
now you'll be scoring goals for you and me, for CFC, Fernando,
though the Scousers thought you'd never leave, they're all depressed,
and when you get to meet Reina again, you'll score my friend, Fernando.

There was burning in the air that night, red shirts alight, Fernando,
you'll be scoring goals for you and me, for CFC, Fernando,
though the Scousers thought you'd never leave, they're all depressed,
and when you get to meet Reina again, you'll score my friend, Fernando.

GENIUS [CFC FAN]


AND HERE HE IS ...................................... CHELSEA'S NEW NO 9

Song of the Day: Iron and Wine - Rabbit Will Run


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Newly-formed Thai airline recruits "Ladyboys" as air hostesses

A newly-formed Thai airline has recruited transsexuals as air hostesses, in a pioneering move it believes will be copied by other carriers.

PC Air, which has yet to take to the skies, selected three "Ladyboys" in its first round of hiring this week to promote equal opportunities for what is dubbed the "third sex" in Thailand.

Peter Chan, the new airline's boss, is enthusiastic about his groundbreaking move because of the opportunities it would afford transsexuals.

COFFEE, TEA OR KATOEY ?

"I think these people can have many careers – not just in the entertainment business – and many of them have a dream to be an air hostess," he said. "I just made their dream come true. Our society has changed. It's evolution. I'm a pioneer and I'm sure there will be other organisations following my idea."

One of the successful candidates was Thanyarat "Film" Jiraphatpakorn, who won the annual Miss Tiffany "katoey" beauty pageant in 2007. "At first I thought they would just take applications but not actually recruit us, as happened at other places before," said the 23-year-old, adding that she was delighted to have been chosen.

Thailand has the largest number of "katoeys" – as they are called in Thai – in the world, with the country's surgeons pioneering cheaper and quicker sex change operations because of the sky-high demand from men wishing to become women.

But PC Air did not make proof of sexual reassignment a criteria for the job, merely that the applicants possessed the necessary language skills and the potential to provide good service.

Many "katoeys" do not undergo sex change operations, either because of the expense or possible medical complications. But they dress as women, often taking birth control pills to reduce facial hair and grow breasts.

More than 100 transsexuals applied for the first places. The airline decided on a quota of three in the initial round of recruitment, where 17 men and ten women were also hired.

The transsexual flight attendants will wear special gold-coloured "third sex" name badges to help passengers and immigration staff to easily identify the gender they are faced with.

Al Jazeera want to sign Keys and Gray

Super-rich Arab TV station Al Jazeera want to snap up Richard Keys and Andy Gray - after the pair were axed by Sky.


Keys is due in Qatar today for talks about a lucrative contract and if he takes up their top post he would bring long-term friend and sidekick Gray with him.

ANDY GREY AND RICHARD KEYS HEAD OFF TO WHERE WOMENS RIGHTS DON'T EXIST

Both Keys and Gray are ‘faces’ in the TV world and the Arabs are not concerned about the fall-out from the sexist comments that cost them their Sky posts.

It would be a massive coup for the station to land two of football’s leading presenters in a double act - they currently use several English frontmen, including Gary Lineker, for their shows.

Al Jazeera are expanding their sports coverage and have just done a deal to broadcast the World Cup in the Middle East and Africa for the next three tournaments.

The move would mean that both Keys and Gray would spend extended periods in Qatar but there is also scope for them to do programmes from the station’s London base.

There are few other stations in the market for the pair and the cash on offer in the Middle East could make up for the loss of their seven-figure Sky salaries.


Thursday, January 27, 2011

GENDER EQUALITY


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