Big BOOOOOOOO to Ebay for taking down the page, but nevermind ... here is a pic of it for you to enjoy,
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Showing posts with label Lol. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lol. Show all posts
Monday, July 25, 2011
NICE WATCH, WILL SWAP FOR 4 BEDROOMED HOUSE IN DES MOINE
Click here to view --> http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=330591109342
Big BOOOOOOOO to Ebay for taking down the page, but nevermind ... here is a pic of it for you to enjoy,
Big BOOOOOOOO to Ebay for taking down the page, but nevermind ... here is a pic of it for you to enjoy,
Friday, July 22, 2011
TRUE STORY
Seb Coe turned up without either. one Test Match, and was challenged and refused entry, He asked the jobsworth if he knew who he was and the geezer said, "No",...Seb replied, "I'm Sebastian Coe, and I've left my pass in my office at the House of Lords",..the guy said,.."Well it won't take you long to run back and get it then!"
Thursday, June 9, 2011
WOW
This mystery reveller was thrown out of the theatre awards do, hosted by Stephen Fry, after he fell over in front of guests including Sir Ian McKellen and Liam Neeson.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
LOL
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| "... AND YOU GIVE ME YOUR WORD AS A POLICEMAN THAT THIS IMOGEN LASSIE WILL DISAPPEAR WITHOUT A TRACE HOWARD ? " |
Friday, May 13, 2011
Monday, May 9, 2011
Saturday, May 7, 2011
LOL
You might recall that John Hinckley Jr was a seriously deranged young man who shot President Reagan in the early 1980's.
Hinckley Jr was absolutely obsessed with movie star Jodie Foster, and, in his twisted mind, loved Jodie to the point that to make himself well known to her, he attempted to assassinate President Reagan.
There is speculation Hinckley Jr may soon be released as having been rehabilitated.
Consequently, you will appreciate the following letter from Hillary to John Hinckley Jr:
To: John Hinckley Jr
From: Hillary Clinton
My family and I wanted to drop you a short note to tell you how pleased we are with the great strides you are making in your recovery.
In our country's spirit of understanding and forgiveness, we want you to know that we bear no grudge against you for shooting President Reagan.
We are fully aware that mental stress and pain could have driven you to such an act of desperation. We're confident that you will soon make a complete recovery and return to your family to join the world again as a healthy and productive man.
Best wishes,
Hillary Clinton & Family
P.S. While you have been incarcerated, Barack Obama has been banging Jodie Foster like a screen door in a tornado. You might want to look into that.
Hinckley Jr was absolutely obsessed with movie star Jodie Foster, and, in his twisted mind, loved Jodie to the point that to make himself well known to her, he attempted to assassinate President Reagan.
There is speculation Hinckley Jr may soon be released as having been rehabilitated.
Consequently, you will appreciate the following letter from Hillary to John Hinckley Jr:
To: John Hinckley Jr
From: Hillary Clinton
My family and I wanted to drop you a short note to tell you how pleased we are with the great strides you are making in your recovery.
In our country's spirit of understanding and forgiveness, we want you to know that we bear no grudge against you for shooting President Reagan.
We are fully aware that mental stress and pain could have driven you to such an act of desperation. We're confident that you will soon make a complete recovery and return to your family to join the world again as a healthy and productive man.
Best wishes,
Hillary Clinton & Family
P.S. While you have been incarcerated, Barack Obama has been banging Jodie Foster like a screen door in a tornado. You might want to look into that.
Monday, April 18, 2011
FOR THOSE WHO HAVE NEVER SEEN GARETH BALE IN A MONKEY SUIT
THAT REMINDS ME ....................... COMING SOON
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
People’s reactions to scare tactic are priceless
WARNING: If you don’t like screaming and an occasional kid crying, this video is NOT for you. For everyone else, you’re welcome.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Monday, March 7, 2011
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Friday, March 4, 2011
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Read the Scathing Oscar Opening That Ricky Gervais Wrote For James Franco and Anne Hathaway
Last week, Academy Award co-host Anne Hathaway revealed that she would not be ripping a page out of Ricky Gervais’ award show hosting playbook, How To Offend Everyone You’re Supposed To Be Honoring ... And Then Some. “I think that humor is really difficult to pull off,” Hathaway said. “And I’m not particularly adept at it.” (She also didn’t want to commit career suicide just to land a solid, below-the-belt jab at The Tourist.) If Hathaway had changed her mind however, Ricky Gervais has thoughtfully assembled an entire Oscar opening monologue for her and Oscar co-host James Franco. Read it in its entirety below.
V.O.
Ladies and Gentlemen.
Please welcome your hosts for this evening…
James Franco and Anne Hathaway
(Music and applause)
(James and Anne walk out looking absolutely perfect)
JAMES FRANCO
Hello and welcome to The 83rd Academy Awards,
Live from Los Angeles.
ANNE HATHAWAY
That’s foreign for City of Angels.
And this room is certainly filled will those angels.
(Applause)
JAMES FRANCO
Thank you. I’m James Franco.
ANNE HATHAWAY
…and I’m Anne Hathaway.
JAMES FRANCO
You probably know me from 127 Hours where I play a man trapped in an enclosed space who decides he would rather cut his own arm off than stay where he was. Now that sounds “way out” but wait till half way through this fucking ceremony and you’ll start to identify with him.
ANNE HATHAWAY
And I’m the new Catwoman. The first white woman to play that role since Michelle Pfeiffer. I want it to be an inspiration to all white people everywhere. Your dreams can come true in Hollywood too.
JAMES FRANCO
It’s a daunting task hosting The Oscars but we’re not alone. Presenting awards tonight will be a string of Hollywood legends and some other actors who have a film out in March or April.
JAMES FRANCO
Usually they hire comedians to host The Oscars, but tonight, instead, you get us!
ANNE HATHAWAY
No comedians tonight. And do you know why? Because comics are ugly.
JAMES FRANCO
Especially that rude obnoxious one who played the Steve Carell part in the English remake of The Office.
ANNE HATHAWAY
But you can all relax because Ricky Gervais is in London…
(Nervous laughter)
He’s doing some charity work.
Yeah, he’s visiting orphans with cancer.
He’s telling them what bald little losers they are…
JAMES FRANCO
Yeah, cos he’s rude right?
(Applause)
Thank you.
No rudeness tonight.
It’s going to be a night of the most privileged people in the world being told how brilliant they are and thanking God for loving them more than ugly poor foreigners.
(Applause)
That’s not to say that we don’t care. No, apart from all the great movies we made this year we continued our life-saving philanthropy. Mega stars like Angelina Jolie, George Clooney and Ben Stiller brought light to third world poverty and famine and shocked the world with visions of children so hungry they’d been living off dead beetles all their lives.
ANNE HATHAWAY
Yeah and Yoko Ono said. “What’s wrong with that?”
(Laughter)
JAMES FRANCO
Oh Anne you are naughty. In a respectful, wholesome way.
(Nodding and smiling)
That Ricky Gervais should do more for charity.
(Murmurs of agreement)
Ricky Gervais is now worth $80,000,000. The obnoxious Brit confirmed the figure, adding,”Yes and my dentist hasn’t seen a penny.”
ANNE HATHAWAY
Yeah, why doesn’t he get his teeth straightened and bleached like everyone else in Hollywood?
JAMES FRANCO
It’s a good question Anne. For the same reason he doesn’t have botox or suck up to important producers - there’s something wrong with him.
ANNE HATHAWAY
There must be. Why isn’t the stocky, fangy, little slob more like us, right?
JAMES FRANCO
That ugly dude needs to get a Hollywood makeover, big time.
ANNE HATHAWAY
Quite. And even though most of the actresses here have eating disorders, that’s better than being fat right?
JAMES FRANCO
You bet it is gorgeous.
ANNE HATHAWAY
You are so handsome.
JAMES FRANCO
Exactly.
You know Ricky Gervais used to be bulimic.
ANNE HATHAWAY
Really?
JAMES FRANCO
Yes. He’d often gorge himself for hours with cheese and cakes.
ANNE HATHAWAY
And then vomit right?
JAMES FRANCO
No he left that bit out…
(Mild laughter)
ANNE HATHAWAY
That’s because he couldn’t get his fat f*cking fingers in his stupid mouth.
(Big laugh)
JAMES FRANCO
Anyway let’s get this show on the road.
There were some great kids’ movies this year.
I took a five year old to see Toy Story 3 last week.
ANNE HATHAWAY
Did you enjoy it?
JAMES FRANCO
No it was ruined for me because the little brat was screaming and crying all the way through the film saying, “Who are you?” “You’re not my daddy.” “Take me back to the park where you grabbed me…”
(Laughter)
ANNE HATHAWAY
Oh James, you are a card. And your slightly risky jokes are not threatening because you’re one of us. And you are so handsome.
JAMES FRANCO
Absolutely.
So let’s get this show on the road.
Our first presenter is a Hollywood legend whose boots Ricky Gervais would not be fit to kiss…
The wonderful .......
Mel Gibson
(Standing ovation)
BY THE WAY ....... THIS IS REAL.
V.O.
Ladies and Gentlemen.
Please welcome your hosts for this evening…
James Franco and Anne Hathaway
(Music and applause)
(James and Anne walk out looking absolutely perfect)
JAMES FRANCO
Hello and welcome to The 83rd Academy Awards,
Live from Los Angeles.
ANNE HATHAWAY
That’s foreign for City of Angels.
And this room is certainly filled will those angels.
(Applause)
JAMES FRANCO
Thank you. I’m James Franco.
ANNE HATHAWAY
…and I’m Anne Hathaway.
JAMES FRANCO
You probably know me from 127 Hours where I play a man trapped in an enclosed space who decides he would rather cut his own arm off than stay where he was. Now that sounds “way out” but wait till half way through this fucking ceremony and you’ll start to identify with him.
ANNE HATHAWAY
And I’m the new Catwoman. The first white woman to play that role since Michelle Pfeiffer. I want it to be an inspiration to all white people everywhere. Your dreams can come true in Hollywood too.
JAMES FRANCO
It’s a daunting task hosting The Oscars but we’re not alone. Presenting awards tonight will be a string of Hollywood legends and some other actors who have a film out in March or April.
JAMES FRANCO
Usually they hire comedians to host The Oscars, but tonight, instead, you get us!
ANNE HATHAWAY
No comedians tonight. And do you know why? Because comics are ugly.
JAMES FRANCO
Especially that rude obnoxious one who played the Steve Carell part in the English remake of The Office.
ANNE HATHAWAY
But you can all relax because Ricky Gervais is in London…
(Nervous laughter)
He’s doing some charity work.
Yeah, he’s visiting orphans with cancer.
He’s telling them what bald little losers they are…
JAMES FRANCO
Yeah, cos he’s rude right?
(Applause)
Thank you.
No rudeness tonight.
It’s going to be a night of the most privileged people in the world being told how brilliant they are and thanking God for loving them more than ugly poor foreigners.
(Applause)
That’s not to say that we don’t care. No, apart from all the great movies we made this year we continued our life-saving philanthropy. Mega stars like Angelina Jolie, George Clooney and Ben Stiller brought light to third world poverty and famine and shocked the world with visions of children so hungry they’d been living off dead beetles all their lives.
ANNE HATHAWAY
Yeah and Yoko Ono said. “What’s wrong with that?”
(Laughter)
JAMES FRANCO
Oh Anne you are naughty. In a respectful, wholesome way.
(Nodding and smiling)
That Ricky Gervais should do more for charity.
(Murmurs of agreement)
Ricky Gervais is now worth $80,000,000. The obnoxious Brit confirmed the figure, adding,”Yes and my dentist hasn’t seen a penny.”
ANNE HATHAWAY
Yeah, why doesn’t he get his teeth straightened and bleached like everyone else in Hollywood?
JAMES FRANCO
It’s a good question Anne. For the same reason he doesn’t have botox or suck up to important producers - there’s something wrong with him.
ANNE HATHAWAY
There must be. Why isn’t the stocky, fangy, little slob more like us, right?
JAMES FRANCO
That ugly dude needs to get a Hollywood makeover, big time.
ANNE HATHAWAY
Quite. And even though most of the actresses here have eating disorders, that’s better than being fat right?
JAMES FRANCO
You bet it is gorgeous.
ANNE HATHAWAY
You are so handsome.
JAMES FRANCO
Exactly.
You know Ricky Gervais used to be bulimic.
ANNE HATHAWAY
Really?
JAMES FRANCO
Yes. He’d often gorge himself for hours with cheese and cakes.
ANNE HATHAWAY
And then vomit right?
JAMES FRANCO
No he left that bit out…
(Mild laughter)
ANNE HATHAWAY
That’s because he couldn’t get his fat f*cking fingers in his stupid mouth.
(Big laugh)
JAMES FRANCO
Anyway let’s get this show on the road.
There were some great kids’ movies this year.
I took a five year old to see Toy Story 3 last week.
ANNE HATHAWAY
Did you enjoy it?
JAMES FRANCO
No it was ruined for me because the little brat was screaming and crying all the way through the film saying, “Who are you?” “You’re not my daddy.” “Take me back to the park where you grabbed me…”
(Laughter)
ANNE HATHAWAY
Oh James, you are a card. And your slightly risky jokes are not threatening because you’re one of us. And you are so handsome.
JAMES FRANCO
Absolutely.
So let’s get this show on the road.
Our first presenter is a Hollywood legend whose boots Ricky Gervais would not be fit to kiss…
The wonderful .......
Mel Gibson
(Standing ovation)
BY THE WAY ....... THIS IS REAL.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Belinda Heggen explains her dig at Mark Aiston
It's the talk of the internet... Channel Ten Adelaide newsreader Belinda Heggen's dig at Mark Aiston.
During the local Ten news in Adelaide Belinda made a passing comment at Mark Aiston as he wrapped up the sport which left everyone (including Aiston) shocked ... and then in tears!
We can tell you that both her comment and footage is very much real after the video set Facebook and Twitter alight with talk of the footage being fake due to Heggen's lack of expression.
It turns out the Newsreader was just as shocked as us by her comment telling Nova FM "He (Mark Aiston) just stepped wide open. He just served it up, I had to lob it back! It was only afterward when we crossed to the weather and went to a commercial break we just lost it".
While the hits on the video continues to rise we had to ask her if she got into trouble from the producers and News Director over the comment but it was just the opposite. "They lost it in my ear, everyone cracked up laughing. Mark was still in a state of shock. I must admit, once it hit me I thought oh no, am i going to get fired?" she laughs.
We can assure you that Belinda isn't going anywhere!
During the local Ten news in Adelaide Belinda made a passing comment at Mark Aiston as he wrapped up the sport which left everyone (including Aiston) shocked ... and then in tears!
We can tell you that both her comment and footage is very much real after the video set Facebook and Twitter alight with talk of the footage being fake due to Heggen's lack of expression.
It turns out the Newsreader was just as shocked as us by her comment telling Nova FM "He (Mark Aiston) just stepped wide open. He just served it up, I had to lob it back! It was only afterward when we crossed to the weather and went to a commercial break we just lost it".
While the hits on the video continues to rise we had to ask her if she got into trouble from the producers and News Director over the comment but it was just the opposite. "They lost it in my ear, everyone cracked up laughing. Mark was still in a state of shock. I must admit, once it hit me I thought oh no, am i going to get fired?" she laughs.
We can assure you that Belinda isn't going anywhere!
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